Telemarketers

So today I received a call from yet another telemarketer. I used to really hate these people, but now I actually look forward to their calls. Ya'll might just say I got too much time on my hands (isn't that a Foreigner song?)... but the truth is, you can turn your phone calls into something positive.

Todays call was from some television/media market research firm. WHoopie... Here's my game plan in short. My computer is on 24/7 and I always have a page opened up to my favorite soundboards. Judge Judy (god I love that lady), and of course Special Ed are my favorites. When the telemarketing flunky calls, I have my gameplan all set up.

"HELLO", "THIS IS ED"... "Hello, Ed, my name is so and so from blah blah blah..."

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=20662

You pretty much have an answer for just about anything.

Todays flunky actually told me this in a very serious tone... "Sir, we don't have time to play games right now"; after my pal Special Ed's comment of, "You sound pretty, Lady... ARe you pretty"...

WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY GAMES????? hahahahahahaha... Whatelse does this guy have time for? You would think he's got plenty of time for whatever I throw at him. Shit... If I had blisters on my fingers from making calls all day long, you betchyer ass I wanna break to play a game. So I told him... "You don't have time for games but you have time to call and waste my time?" "Why is your time so precious but my time is not?"

See... The way I feel is that if you're going to call me and solicit your bullshit products, then you're going to have to play by my rules and if you can't play by my rules then put me on the horn with someone who is willing to accept my policy. I don't owe these people anything. If anything, they owe ME.

So that's that.... Go get yourselves a good soundboard beat the hell out of the next junky who calls you.

Let's say you don't have access to a computer you can always get kinky on the phone with them. I spoke with a female telemarker once who I had telling me her whole life story. She claimed she was hot too. Ohhh we had a grand old time on the phone. I kept her from her job for at least 15 minutes! Do you know how many people she could have called and got hung up on within that time? I gave her inspiration to get on the line to her next victim.

Yep... You have to make the best of it sometimes.

The best is when they start talking so fast that they pretend not to hear you while you're butting in. Usually call them a dirty whore and that gets their attention real fast. I've had some tell me off. "EXCUSE ME?" ohhh boy... that's great when they do that. You basically ruin their day and they'll be talking about you all afternoon!

Ok, I'm done for now. I'll be back later.